January 31, 2013 - Attempt to break a world record

Today is the last day of my month long project to do something that I've never done each day. For thirty days, I've come up with something new to try.  I've started learning a new language (albeit a fictional one), and I watched a terrible movie (Tyler Perry, you hack).  I cooked a full course meal, and I learned a song on the piano...kind of.

I've experienced many things this month, and I wanted to end this project on a high note.  And as a friend that has been following the blog suggested, the highest note would be to try to break a world record.

The record that I set my sights on involved eating Ferreror Rocher chocolates.  The record, according to Guiness, is nine Ferrero Rochers in one minute.  I went to the grocery store across the street from campus today and bought a package of the little fancy chocolates.  I set up shop at the conference table at the office, and went to work...

 

 

I was sick the rest of the day, as I am pretty sure that I ingested my caloric intake for an entire week.  But I'm happy that I tried to do it, and I'm pleased at how close I came to actually breaking it.  It makes me think that maybe there are more world records out there that are not insurmountable.  Maybe the impossible can be accomplished (I'm talking about the eating records now...you can count me out of the ones that require moving quickly).

The idea that the impossible can be accomplished is not limited to world records.  It can be, and should be, applied to the entirety of our lives.   This month has shown me that the only thing that will ever hold me back from experiencing everything in life is, ultimately, myself (however, winning the lottery could certainly help experience a bit more of it).

This month has been a rewarding challenge.  It has been enlightening to find a variety of new things to try every day, and I have had a lot of fun doing it. I went to a city council meeting, and met people that I might not have had the chance to meet otherwise. I saw mummies on display, and I learned a card illusion.  I challenged a grandmaster to a game of chess (he still hasn't accepted my gambit), and I read a classic tragedy.  I've seen things and done things that I would have passed over if I hadn't been paying attention.

At times, it can feel like we're wandering through our lives with our blinders on.  We get so focused and so lost in our routines that it can be easy to forget the magic and excitement and wonder that is life.  This is a cycle that we need to stop, as life is much spicier with some variety to it. We all need to take a second and look around at the life that is happening all around us.  We need to appreciate it more, and we need to make every single moment that we are given count.

As Ferris Bueller wisely said, "Life moves pretty fast.  If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." That's the biggest thing that I will take away from this month.  There are so many opportunities out there to enjoy.  So many connections to be made that will enrich our lives.  So many moments that will change us for years to come.  We just have to pay attention for when those opportunities present themselves.

There is so much life out there that is waiting to be lived.  It's time to start living it.

January 30th, 2013 - Consult with a psychic

Today is the penultimate day of my month long project to do something different and new everyday. And it almost turned into a bust.

I started out by having a "secret word" for the day.  I was a big fan of Pee-Wee's Playhouse growing up.  This stemmed from my love (which continues to this day) for Pee-Wee's Big Adventure.  I wanted a special bike like Pee-Wee, and I wanted to live in a house where the chairs talked and friends said "Mecca lecca hi, mecca hiney ho."  I wanted...to have a secret word of the day.

This morning, I selected the word "Presidential."  It is the name of our largest scholarship competition that we are getting ready to host, and I figured that it would be a very prevalent word.  Unfortunately, the meeting that we had regarding this competition was attended by many of the vice-presidents at my university.  I figured that it would be detrimental to my work status if every time they said the secret word, I responded with my arms flailing and ringing bells.  So I had to give that one up pretty quickly.

Then, inspired by a recent Geico commercial, I tried to put a Slinky on an escalator.  I went over to the University Center on campus and put one of my Christmas stocking stuffers to the test.  I put the Slinky on the up escalator, thinking that it would hop down to the next step, which would be coming up to meet it, thus remaining locked in place.

Apparently, Geico commercials are fake.  The Slinky/Escalator test was a complete and total failure.

As I'm so close to finishing this project, I didn't want to mess it up.  I had to find something that I had never done before.  Finally, at the end of my rope, I realized that I had to go to outside help. And that meant calling a psychic.

I've seen advertisements for psychic hotlines since I was very little, but I've always been skeptical of people who advertise their second sight.  I remember the fake Jamaican accents being lampooned on sketch comedy shows, and the lame commercials promising the answers to life's biggest riddles.  I've seen the horoscopes, but I've felt that following the teachings of Calvin and Hobbes was a better use of the Sunday paper.  And fortune cookies, to me, are only complete after adding the phrase "in bed" to the end of them.

With that being said, I decided to put aside my skepticism and dial a psychic.  I picked the first number that I found online that was "reputable."  The website, California Psychics, said that they provided answers on "your love, career, and destiny" questions.  As I feel like I'm doing alright on the "love" front, and as long as my destiny turns out to be "the one who shall bring balance to the Force," I don't have any further questions about that.  But will I end up running the university?  Will I become a famous novelist?  Am I bound for early retirement?  That's the kind of thing that I would like to know more about.

I was put in touch with Chastity, who didn't sound Jamaican at all.  In fact, she kinda sounded like a mom, which was disappointing.  I was hoping for a Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil kind of experience, with a voodoo priestess channeling the spirits.  What I got was decidedly more suburban.

Chastity (I hate using virtues as names...just awful) said that great success laid ahead of me.  She said that I was due for a financial windfall, and that if I worked hard at my latest project, it would all pay off.  Basically "just keep doing what you're doing."  She tried to use fillers to keep the call going, but I hung up after I was charged too much.

I would have gotten a lot more out of it if she had sent me to the basement of the Alamo to find my bike...I told you I was a fan of Pee-Wee.

Going in to this, I knew that it was going to be a load of crap.  Hanging up, I was left with a similar feeling.  I believe that there are mystical forces in the universe, and I'm willing to bet that there are those of us out there that have a real gift.  I just don't think you'd find them online.

Ultimately, I'm glad that she didn't say anything of value or that I could really take to heart.  Because I have a lot to look forward to in these upcoming years.  Life is full of endless possibilities that are right around the corner.  I'd hate to ruin the surprise.

January 29th, 2013 - Become a busker

Buskers (street performers) are right up my alley (pun intended).  Watching them perform is socially acceptable people watching, which, as stated in previous posts, is one of my favorite things to do.  Sometimes you get a genuinely amazing performer, like those found on the streets of New Orleans.  Sometimes, you will get someone that truly sucks, and you'd pay for them just to shut up. And sometimes, you get someone who will sing a song that will help to create a long lasting memory.

I will always remember standing on the Red Line track at Harvard, waiting for the T to arrive.  It was my freshman year of college, and I was visiting some friends that went to school in Boston. A busker was performing, his music echoing against the tunnel's walls.   He was good, but not great.  The kind of background noise that you push aside when you go into a big city.

Then he began to play "Wonderwall," by Oasis. 

It's a song that reminds me of sixth grade bus trips and Walkmans.  It reminds me of a time when playing on the playground had suddenly lost it's appeal, and when acting cool in front of girls had come into fashion (just because it was in fashion doesn't mean that I participated in said acting cool...or that I do even today).  It reminds me of a childhood spent in the 1990s, and not the neon soaked 80's that college parties have glamorized. 

Apparently, the song had the same resonance for everyone else standing on the platform that day.  Because all at once, everyone started singing along with the busker.  Hundreds of people all singing along spontaneously, without rehearsal or planning.  It was a pre-flash mob flash mob.  And when the T came up to the station, everyone shut up and got on the train and no one said anything else about it.

Music can connect us to these kind of random and powerful memories, and I think this is why buskers provide something so much more than background noise.  They provide us with theme music as we are walking through our busy lives.  They provide us a way to connect to one another.

To honor that tradition, I decided to be a busker tonight.  I looked up some basic songs to learn on the harmonica.  I got dressed up like a hipster doofus.  And I performed at Center City Park in Greensboro.

"All My Lovin'," "Bad Moon Rising," and "Twelve Bar Basic" were all on the docket to perform, and they went alright.  Which means that I had to tell Elizabeth what they were and then she gave me the sympathy, "Ahhh, got it."

The one that I got down the best (and I use that word in only a technical sense), was "The Flintstones' Theme."

I don't forsee anyone telling the story of the time they were walking through the park and heard a horrible version of "The Flintstones' Theme."  But I did see a few people smile as I played.  And if they go home tonight, and they start humming a familiar tune, they'll know who to blame.

January 28th, 2013 - Walk backwards all day

I decided to look back today.  Literally.

My new thing for the day was a simple one.  I spent all day walking backwards.  I walked in and out of the bathroom backwards.  I walked out of my house backwards, opening the door behind me and closing it in front of me as I left.  I got into and out of my car backwards (not to worry, I didn't drive backwards). I walked across the street and into my office backwards.  I went up stairs backwards, and I entered rooms backwards.  I went grocery shopping while walking backwards, pulling the cart along with me.

What surprised me the most about doing this was how difficult and tiring it actually was. Because I'm so used to walking a certain way (you know, the normal way), changing my stride threw me for a loop. Constantly feeling like I was going to bump into something was not new, however, as my clumsiness made me accustomed to that feeling years ago.

I got a lot of funny looks as I walked backwards in public.  Cars honked, and more than a few people gave me a cartoon double-take.  A few people asked what I was doing or if I needed any help.  After awhile, I settled on "I lost a bet" as a legitimate excuse.  I had a feeling that "I'm writing a blog about doing something new every day" wasn't going to fly with the gas station attendant.

To my amazement, the vast number of people I encountered today didn't do or say anything.  The family that I met with after their tour didn't say anything, even though I backed into the room to meet them and then backed them out of the room when I was finished.  The clerk at the grocery store didn't say anything, even though I looked like I was playing bumper carts with the next person in line.  And some of my office mates didn't say anything either.  I guess they're just used to me by now.

Maybe I'm just very observant, but I feel like I would have noticed if someone was doing something this strange.  In fact, I know that I would.  Picking out the odd and bizarre things in my daily life is something that I do all of the time.  I come by it honestly, as one of my mother's favorite past times is people watching.  What can I say, I learned from the best.  I just hope that I made for good people watching for someone out there as they drove by me.

It's important to look behind us to see where we've been, and walking backwards all day gave me a new perspective of the way I move through my daily life.  It made me more aware of my surroundings, and in doing so, it made me think about the directions I use to get from point a to point be.  I hope to continue to be more aware...going forward.

January 27th, 2013 - Prepare a zombie escape kit

I'm a fan of zombies and zombie related media. I like the old school (Night of the Living Dead), and I like the new school (28 Days Later).  I respect the cult classics (Return of the Living Dead), and I dig the blockbusters (Zombieland). I like both the comic book version and the TV version of The Walking Dead.  I enjoy the flicks that make you laugh out loud, and the ones that make you cringe and scream.  It is a genre that will not get old for me.

 

Because of my fandom for zombies, I've always imagined what would actually happen if a zombie apocalypse took place.  I'm sure I'm not alone in this regard.  I'm willing to bet that the vast majority of people that have seen a zombie movie or TV show, or read a zombie comic book, have had a similar thought.  If the hoopla surrounding the Mayan calendar was any indication, then many people not only have this thought, but see it as something that is likely to happen soon.

 

This afternoon, I decided to take my flights of fancy one step further and prepare a zombie escape kit.  I plan on leaving it in the back of my car, so if the zombie hoards do start to roam the country in search of brains, I am good to go.

 

 

My zombie escape kit includes:

A tent
A sleeping bag
A tool kit
A baseball bat (for smashing zombies in the head, thus rendering them incapacitated)
A hammer and nails (for nailing boards to windows and making shelters more secure...also, for fans of Tyrese on The Walking Dead, the hammer can be used for smashing zombies in the head, thus rendering them incapacitated)
A bottle opener
Two cans of beans
A flashlight
A mallet
Three drinking cups
Containers of: hydrocortisone, triple antibotic ointment, and hydrogen peroxide
Toothbrush, toothpaste, and floss
Soap
Kleenex
Clear Eyes eyedrops
Aspirin
Airborne Cold Medicine
Antacid tablets (as I'm sure that the food that will be available after the zombies take over will give me indigestion)
A lighter
A Swiss Army knife
Two board games: Tic-Tac-Toe...and that brain puzzle you usually find at Cracker Barrel gift shops
The Worst Case Scenario Handbook
The Zombie Survival Handbook
Our Mutual Friend, by Charles Dickens (the last book that I want to read before I die...if it's good enough for Desmond on LOST, it's good enough for me)

Sure, there is no reason for me to take this seriously.  Zombies are a fictional creation, and are not a real and viable threat to society.

Or are they?

Man Kills Housemate in Second Cannibal-Like Attack, Cops Say

ABC NEWS

A 21-year-old man accused of killing a housemate told police in Harford County, Md., that he ate the victim’s heart and part of his brain after killing him.

Alexander Kinyua first became a suspect when his brother found what he thought were human remains in the basement of the family’s Joppatowne home. When the brother confronted Kinyua, he told him they were animal remains, according to ABC 2 News in Baltimore. The brother told the father about the grisly find, but when the father searched the basement the remains were gone.

Kinyua has been charged with first-degree murder and was ordered held on no bail, according to the Associated Press.

Kinyua’s roommate, Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie, 37, was reported missing Friday. Harford County Sherriff Jesse Bane said a head and hands were recovered on the main floor of the home. Harford County Sheriff’s Department spokeswoman Monica Worrell said deputies also found more body parts at a nearby dumpster.

Detectives have not yet positively identified the body. Police say they have a strong suspicion it’s the missing man, according to ABC 2 News.

Investigators say Agyei-Kodie left the house for a run but never returned.

This is the second cannibal-like attack this week, which has been dubbed “zombie apocalypse.” Earlier this week police discovered a man devouring the face of a homeless man on a Miami highway. Rudy Eugene was shot dead by police after he refused to stop tearing the flesh off the face of Ronald Poppo, who is in critical condition after police say 75 percent of his face was devoured.

January 26th, 2013 - Talk in cliches all day

Yesterday, I grabbed the bull by its horns and attempted a quest: talk in cliches all day.

It was no walk in the park, as I quickly realized that to get the ball rolling, I wouldn't be able to speak ONLY in cliches.  To do that would drive Elizabeth up the wall, and would put me between a rock and a hard place to get anything done.  So, to stay ahead of the game, I tried to use a cliche at least once in a conversation, often times more.  Once the cat was out of the bag, people got into it, making this the most participatory of all the new things that I've tried for this blog.

Elizabeth's Jimmy has been on it's last legs for awhile now.  Not wanting to throw good money after bad, we decided to check out a couple of places.  The first dealership was as sleazy as they come, and it definitely did not cut the mustard.  The salesman actually said "What do I have to do to get you into one of these cars today?" which was as cliche as they come. And he didn't even know that was the day's new thing!

We didn't want to listen to the doom merchants, so we kept our chins up and tried to look on the bright side.  We took a hop, skip, and a jump across the street to CarMax to get the low down on what they had to offer. It's a dog eat dog world out there, and we weren't expecting much.   To say that place was the bee's knees is an understatement.  Cathy, our sales consultant, had a heart of gold and in a pinch, she did the trick.  In a jiffy, we walked away with a new car for Elizabeth, and that's nothing to shake a stick at.

To celebrate this windfall, we went to some local watering holes last night.  Some friends from college that now live in North Carolina came out with us, and it was the best thing since sliced bread to see them.  Unfortunately, neither Elizabeth nor myself knows what hit us last night.  Oh well, that's the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

Speaking in cliches all day made me really think about what I was saying, so there was a silver lining to sounding like an idiot.  If you stop to smell the roses, you begin to see how many of these little idioms you use on a daily basis wihtout realizing it.  Talk about getting caught napping with your pants down! It was fun to work a new cliche in that I hadn't used yet, and I'm sure I only scratched the surface of what I could have said.  You win some, you lose some.

See you in two shakes of a lambs tail!

January 25th, 2013 - Start learning Klingon

I've tried to learn a language other than English many times.  I took three years of Spanish in high school, and another dos anos of it in college.  My professor, Marta Hernandez Salvan, inspired many a pleasant sueno, but did not help me to retain much about verb conjugation.  I can remember the random vocabulary word here and there, enough to win a game of Spanish Bananagrams a time or two.  But drop me in the middle of Mexico, and I would revert to American Spanish.  That is to say that I would just speak English, only louder and with more pointing.

I took a semester of German in college, but because my professor was French and I could barely understand her when she spoke English, it was a rocky road.  I've tried ASL, but I can only remember "bullshit," which, though it's a useful sign, won't get me many places.  I've even tried to listen to a "Learn Norwegian While You Drive" CD.  I got about 5 minutes in before I realized they had a word for every word that we had, so I just gave up.

This afternoon, I decided to give it another go.  But I didn't want to attempt Spanish again, and I didn't want to do something normal.  In the spirit of the blog, I wanted to do something that I hadn't done before.

And that was to start learning Klingon.

For those that aren't fans of the franchise, Klingon is a fictional language from Star Trek.  Introduced in Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979), the language has since been translated and reproduced into a variety of mediums.  There are Klingon versions of Shakespeare, a full Klingon opera, and a version of Boggle.  There's even a Klingon Language Institute, which promotes Klingon language and culture throughout the current United Federation of Planets.  As this contains only Earth at this point, they have room for expansion.

I ordered The Klingon Dictionary by Marc Okrand a while back, but I never set out to reading it.  This afternoon, I did just that.

I set out to first do something basic, like learn how to sign my name:

Then, I wanted to tell Elizabeth something:

"jIH bang SoH"  (That means, "I love you")

I also wanted to learn something very Klingon.

"batlh Daqawlu'tah" (That means "You will be remembered with honor.")

I plan on starting to use my new found linguistic skills in every day life.  I still have a long way to go in order to become fluent, and practice makes perfect.  But maybe one day I'll be able to challenge the gang on The Big Bang Theory to a game of Klingon Boggle after all.

"tlhIngan Hol Dajatlh'a'?"