January 27th, 2013 - Prepare a zombie escape kit

I'm a fan of zombies and zombie related media. I like the old school (Night of the Living Dead), and I like the new school (28 Days Later).  I respect the cult classics (Return of the Living Dead), and I dig the blockbusters (Zombieland). I like both the comic book version and the TV version of The Walking Dead.  I enjoy the flicks that make you laugh out loud, and the ones that make you cringe and scream.  It is a genre that will not get old for me.

 

Because of my fandom for zombies, I've always imagined what would actually happen if a zombie apocalypse took place.  I'm sure I'm not alone in this regard.  I'm willing to bet that the vast majority of people that have seen a zombie movie or TV show, or read a zombie comic book, have had a similar thought.  If the hoopla surrounding the Mayan calendar was any indication, then many people not only have this thought, but see it as something that is likely to happen soon.

 

This afternoon, I decided to take my flights of fancy one step further and prepare a zombie escape kit.  I plan on leaving it in the back of my car, so if the zombie hoards do start to roam the country in search of brains, I am good to go.

 

 

My zombie escape kit includes:

A tent
A sleeping bag
A tool kit
A baseball bat (for smashing zombies in the head, thus rendering them incapacitated)
A hammer and nails (for nailing boards to windows and making shelters more secure...also, for fans of Tyrese on The Walking Dead, the hammer can be used for smashing zombies in the head, thus rendering them incapacitated)
A bottle opener
Two cans of beans
A flashlight
A mallet
Three drinking cups
Containers of: hydrocortisone, triple antibotic ointment, and hydrogen peroxide
Toothbrush, toothpaste, and floss
Soap
Kleenex
Clear Eyes eyedrops
Aspirin
Airborne Cold Medicine
Antacid tablets (as I'm sure that the food that will be available after the zombies take over will give me indigestion)
A lighter
A Swiss Army knife
Two board games: Tic-Tac-Toe...and that brain puzzle you usually find at Cracker Barrel gift shops
The Worst Case Scenario Handbook
The Zombie Survival Handbook
Our Mutual Friend, by Charles Dickens (the last book that I want to read before I die...if it's good enough for Desmond on LOST, it's good enough for me)

Sure, there is no reason for me to take this seriously.  Zombies are a fictional creation, and are not a real and viable threat to society.

Or are they?

Man Kills Housemate in Second Cannibal-Like Attack, Cops Say

ABC NEWS

A 21-year-old man accused of killing a housemate told police in Harford County, Md., that he ate the victim’s heart and part of his brain after killing him.

Alexander Kinyua first became a suspect when his brother found what he thought were human remains in the basement of the family’s Joppatowne home. When the brother confronted Kinyua, he told him they were animal remains, according to ABC 2 News in Baltimore. The brother told the father about the grisly find, but when the father searched the basement the remains were gone.

Kinyua has been charged with first-degree murder and was ordered held on no bail, according to the Associated Press.

Kinyua’s roommate, Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie, 37, was reported missing Friday. Harford County Sherriff Jesse Bane said a head and hands were recovered on the main floor of the home. Harford County Sheriff’s Department spokeswoman Monica Worrell said deputies also found more body parts at a nearby dumpster.

Detectives have not yet positively identified the body. Police say they have a strong suspicion it’s the missing man, according to ABC 2 News.

Investigators say Agyei-Kodie left the house for a run but never returned.

This is the second cannibal-like attack this week, which has been dubbed “zombie apocalypse.” Earlier this week police discovered a man devouring the face of a homeless man on a Miami highway. Rudy Eugene was shot dead by police after he refused to stop tearing the flesh off the face of Ronald Poppo, who is in critical condition after police say 75 percent of his face was devoured.