I am a guy that does not like to be misinformed. If I'm going to have an opinion, I want it to be based on first hand knowledge and facts. When the Twilight series first rocketed to success, I initially made fun of it's ludicrous premise about sparkling vampires. I judged the book by it's cover, and I rolled my eyes whenever it was brought up. I was decidedly on Team Shoot Jacob and Team Stab Edward.
After awhile, however, I thought that I was being unfair. Maybe I needed to be more open minded and see what everyone was talking about. I picked up the first book in the series, read it in a night, and ended up throwing up across the room. The bad guy shows up after 300 pages, and before the climactic fight (really the only action in the book), the narrator passes out. Simply horrible writing, but at least I now know firsthand that my judgements have been justified.
I felt the same disdain for Tyler Perry's movies, and because of that I had never watched one. Until tonight.
Not only were my feelings justified, they were shown to be a gross underestimation of the word "terrible."
"Tyler Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family" was one of the worst movies that I've ever seen. Haphazardly thrown together, with enough bad acting to warrant its own category at the Razzie Awards, it's an hour and 46 minute hammer to the face. Actually, a hammer to the face would be better, because a hammer to the face would be over quickly.
Much of the movie is a string of ridiculous stereotypes about black people in scenes that draw on and on and on. In the first 10 minutes, everything from biscuits to God is discussed Ad nauseam. The opening scene takes place in a hospital, and it's basically a PSA on diabetes and heart disease. One of the characters smokes weed in the bathroom, and then she and her friend take a bus home. I feel like everything done by the Civil Rights movement was systematically undone by this garbage.
The rest of the movie is about how women be trippin', God is great, and chirren don't have no respect no mo'. There's a lot of Maury Povich (remember when that show had stuff on it other than DNA tests?) I mean, a lot. To the point where I don't know why Maury wasn't on the poster. And also Lil' Bow Wow...sorry, now it's just Bow Wow...bow wow...plays an ex-con with no car, a baby mama, and a strong temptation to get back to slinging on the street. Oh, and he's really his sister's son.
I really don't know what I just sat through, or how these movies are so popular. They're marketed as comedies. Yet most of the movie is heavy-handed tripe about a family that you would long to escape from. The only way to raise a child, as it is in the flick, is to smack 'em around. The only way to enjoy this crap is to not watch it.
I had never seen a Tyler Perry movie before tonight, and I plan on never seeing one again unless I suffer some sort of blunt head trauma. This blog is all about doing new things every day. That means that sometimes, I will do things that will become a new hobby for me. Sometimes, that means that I will never want to do that thing again. And sometimes, it means I will do something that will make me appreciate my life more.
I will appreciate every Scorcese movie more now that I have sat through a Tyler Perry film. I will revel in the craftsmanship of filmmaking that is evident in a Wes Anderson movie, and I will chuckle with joy at the artistry of Christopher Nolan and Tarantino and the Cohen Brothers, more now that I have had to cringe my way through a movie this bad. Life's too short to be wasted on bad movies, and now I know a few more to avoid.
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